I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize