i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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