We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We are all done wearing pants today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
