my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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