Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
