I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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