what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
