I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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