yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
