Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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