tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
