So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Michael Bay diarrhea
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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