He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
