trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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