i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
