you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
