So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
