i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
