so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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