I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
