so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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