Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
