so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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