I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
