Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
