Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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