If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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