she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
