Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
