Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
