Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
