Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
