If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
