Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
