Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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