To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
