Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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