Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
