Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
