you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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