We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
