I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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