There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just cropdusted the office
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
