Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
