Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
