Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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