Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
