fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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