I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
