That's intense
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
